Entry-Level Nurse Getting Real Tired Of Cleaning Up After Patient's Shit

Gina Morse, a recent nursing school graduate, was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for her first day on the job. Eager to make a difference for those in need, she was ready to put her training to work and start getting the tough work done that nurses do on a daily basis to help people when they need it most. She was on-call for only 45 minutes before the head nurse on duty asked her to empty a patient's bedpan. The problem: the patient missed the bedpan entirely.

"I became a nurse because I wanted to make a difference and help people," Gina mutters to the floor as she's cleaning up a puddle of urine under bed 12A. "I'm getting real tired of cleaning up after patient's shit."

The University of Iowa graduate became a Registered Nurse in the footsteps of her mother, who has worked in the Des Moines Mercy Medical Center since 1968. It appears as though her mother, Gwen, failed to explain to her the dark side of taking care of people who happen to be incontinent.

"When they show nurses and doctors on E.R. or Nurse Jackie, they show them working rough hours, romancing in the locker room, going out on hot and steamy dates in the woods like that girl from Grey's Anatomy. Sure, sometimes they have to do gross stuff like deal with worms, but usually they play whimsical music in the background to let you know that it's really just a joke. Let me tell you - scraping dried-up fecal matter from a patient's floor is no joke. Nurse Jackie gets sex, drugs, and drama - so why in the hell am I cleaning out shit pans?"

Following her traumatic first day on the job, Gina is considering going to law school.

- THE EDITOR